In the quiet...

Have you ever stepped back and realized that you just learned something about yourself as a person? About your personality? About the nitty-gritty secret stuff that no one knows...but you?

I have had one such-like experience here lately...I'm discovering that I'm not really a big people person, unless I'm really comfortable with those people. I'm non-confrontational, private, and usually pretty quiet. There are exceptions, oh yes...trust me...but on the whole...I can get peopled out pretty quickly. Then I like to hide. But we don't have to go into that right now.

Today, after a crazy weekend of lots of people, I was feeling pretty peopled out. After church (with lots of people), I knew James had plans for part of the afternoon at church. My brain had registered that he would be busy from 3-6. So at 1 pm, when he looked at me and said "See ya, babe!"...I was not happy. I was not gleeful, or cheerful, or any other kind of -ful. In fact...I was a bit miffed. Say what now, buddy? You're not going to be home all afternoon AND evening?

There's more to the story...like the part where I had agreed and even suggested that I drop him off and pick him up later, and the part where he called and invited me to dinner...but that's a different part of the story. I'm still miffed at this point.

Then I got home. My little home, with my little boy...what were our plans for the afternoon, son? Well, Mama...I don't know. Let's play!

And we did. We rolled on the ground. We nibbled things from the fridge while sitting in front of it together. We took a long nap, snuggled in each other's arms. We sat on the front lawn, and played in the grass. I read (part of) a book. We experimented with blowing water out of straws to make pretty patterns on the concrete. And I laid on my stomach in the grass, and watched my son do the same on the concrete and track an ant's progress across the warm pavement. For 20 minutes. My 10-month old stayed still for 20 minutes and watched this huge ant trek across about a foot of concrete. And I watched him do it.

I was reminded of all that the Lord has provided, and I was grateful to Him for gently restoring my peaceful soul with quiet. He told me, in a warm voice, that it was good to retreat from the world and to experience His God-given quiet.

My husband enjoyed his afternoon, and I enjoyed mine.

Thank you Jesus...for ants.